Memories

As I was rocking E back to sleep during her nap today, I find myself thinking back to another nursery 20+ years ago. That nursery was so much different than this one. Where this one is carpeted with brand new matching furniture and all the works, the other had a wood floor. It was painted white with wood paneling acting as wainscoting. There was a maple secondhand Jenny Lind crib with Teddy Beddy Bear bedding purchased by grandpa and grandma. A mobile and decorations on the wall made by me. The washer and dryer where in the closet.

As I continue to rock E, I try to remember if I did this with her brother. Did I put aside all the household chores just to rock him to sleep? Did I take the time to baby him as I find myself doing for her? I can remember the important things like his first birthday, first time to play in the snow and the puppy he got for Christmas. I just don't know if I can recall the everyday things that were just as important.

Is it the fact that I am older and know that she will be the last baby I have that I make the time now that I should have made then or is it true that you have a favorite? Can you really love them both, but still love one more? Maybe it is connecting with one more than the other? Not looking for an answer just some deep thoughts I had today.